I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
