your parents love me but you hate me
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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