today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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