God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize