What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
nutella sex= disaster
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
