i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
