there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
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Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
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I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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