we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Randomize
