I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
