I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I love black thongs
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I'm sobbing to NWA
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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