as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
