Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
