WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
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My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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