He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
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I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
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after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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