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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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