I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
