They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
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