I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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