you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
