We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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