He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize