I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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