This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize