i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
