My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.