You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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