Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
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