please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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