You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
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pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
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Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
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