she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Randomize