Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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