Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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