You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
