Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
