she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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