Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
