I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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