btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted