I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
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Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
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Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.