After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Is it because I queefed?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
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Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
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i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.