those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Dating After Heartbreak
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.