Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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