too bad you live with your parents still
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.