im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
This toilet bowl is my home.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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