I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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