1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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