porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
