We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
