yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Randomize
