bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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