Have you finally orgasmed yet?
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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