did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize