well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
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i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
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All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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