Texts From Last Night

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  (616): View more from Michigan

  I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.

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  (616): I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does. http://tfl.nu/4jqf
  Replies (4) Good night (1021) Bad night (422) Order T-Shirt
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?

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  (480): Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people? http://tfl.nu/e8xq
  Replies (65) Good night (813) Bad night (8470) Order T-Shirt
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed

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  (604): his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed http://tfl.nu/zsvf
  Replies (20) Good night (973) Bad night (4532) Order T-Shirt
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  (718): View more from New York

  Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.

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  (718): Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night. http://tfl.nu/a8sl
  Replies (20) Good night (1782) Bad night (4641) Order T-Shirt
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  (845): View more from New York

  all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed

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  (845): all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed http://tfl.nu/tu27
  Replies (26) Good night (4616) Bad night (1271) Order T-Shirt
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  (214): View more from Texas

  The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night

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  (214): The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night http://tfl.nu/8pzt
  Replies (12) Good night (4542) Bad night (713) Order T-Shirt
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  (530): View more from California

  for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.

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  (530): for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs. http://tfl.nu/et1w
  Replies (16) Good night (3513) Bad night (837) Order T-Shirt
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.

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  (502): We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice. http://tfl.nu/njob
  Replies (3) Good night (2053) Bad night (478) Order T-Shirt
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.

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  (519): You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you. http://tfl.nu/7uzq
  Replies (5) Good night (1784) Bad night (892)
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  (925): View more from California

  you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed

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  (925): you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed http://tfl.nu/e4j9
  Replies (11) Good night (894) Bad night (1598) Order T-Shirt
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.

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  (563): You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing. http://tfl.nu/fl0p
  Replies (12) Good night (1770) Bad night (482) Order T-Shirt
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  "Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.

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  (913): "Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol. http://tfl.nu/3cka
  Replies (6) Good night (1062) Bad night (293)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.

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  (201): I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe. http://tfl.nu/ihd3
  Replies (2) Good night (632) Bad night (640) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options

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  (303): We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options http://tfl.nu/lflv
  Replies (12) Good night (1736) Bad night (298)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.

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  (303): i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower. http://tfl.nu/pdu2
  Replies (4) Good night (583) Bad night (142) Order T-Shirt

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