Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
He better not be in your backpack
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
